Anger and rage
Holding anger might seem like a preposterous idea...but does it help us to try to avoid anger and rage?
"Anger and rage get a bad rap and reasonably so, because when people act on those emotions- and they're very, very difficult to have but not act on without repressing them, which is a different way of acting on them, really- but to stay kind of in the middle and to just hold anger, hold rage is a bit challenging for most people.
But I wonder how many listeners are just hearing that that's a possibility for the very first time.
But yeah, anger is always a response to pain. It's always a response. And so through feeling disregarded in some way, so anger is never the first thing to arise. So we often just rush past the pain and go right into the rage so that we can defend ourselves." -Ralph De La Rosa LCSW
In this podcast episode we welcome Ralph De La Rosa. He is a psychotherapist, meditation teacher, and author.
We begin by having Ralph guide us through a meditation, which leads us into a discussion about how mindfulness can help us to not judge our emotions. Often, we believe that negative emotions don’t have any value. In reality, they have tremendous value. Negative emotions can help us grow and great things can come from discomfort.
Ralph notes it is important to be able to sit with your anger, and explains how best to go about it. The first step is becoming aware of how you feel, and then creating space and allowing it. From there, you can get to the root of it.
Ralph shares a recent discussion with a friend about how the Trump presidency has been a rock bottom for society. Yet, when discussed through the scope of recovery the rock bottom moment can actually be motivational. That is when we can embrace the transformative nature of rock bottoms.
When we encounter crisis times in society, it’s important to be resilient. If you want to make a change in the world, you have to stick with it. A new president doesn’t mean that there won’t be any further struggle. Ralph emphasizes that we have to move forward with love, consciousness, and acknowledging our interconnectedness.
At the end, Ralph offers a question to reflect on: “Does this sticky situation that I’m in benefit me in some way that I’m not admitting to myself?” Strange as it may be, sometimes there is incentive to stay in our unhealthy patterns.
This episode is also available to download and stream on
Ralph De La Rosa LCSW
Ralph De La Rosa LCSW is a psychotherapist in private practice and a seasoned meditation instructor. He began practicing meditation in 1996 and has been teaching since 2008. As a meditation teacher, Ralph’s work has been featured in The New York Post, CNN, GQ, SELF, Womens Health and many other publications.
Ralph himself is a PTSD, depression and addiction survivor. His work is inspired by his own tremendous transformation that he experienced through meditation, yoga and therapy. His new book “Don’t Tell Me To Relax: Emotional Resilience in the Age of Rage, Feels, and Freak Outs” is available wherever books are sold.