INTENT VERSUS IMPACT
What is an intention? An intention is an idea or a thought, that you plan to carry out. It may be a vibe or an energy that you are aiming for.
What is impact? It is the action of one object coming forcibly into contact with another object. It can be an effect of an action on someone or something.
We cannot talk about our intent without talking about impact.
Our intention influence our actions and our choices. The impact of our actions and choices affect the world around us. The question becomes, what matters to you more? The intentions you set, or the impact they have?
When do you focus on claiming your intentions and when do you focus on owning your impact?
Something I focus on in this weeks episode (see above): "Impact: When Intentions Don't Matter"
Good Intentions, Ignored Impact
Maybe you have said it, or maybe you have heard it.
"I'm sorry, that was not my intent" or maybe "Their intentions were good" or maybe "My intentions were pure".
I would like to believe that a good portion of the time, people do have good intentions.
It would be a beautiful thing to believe that people's intent is not to hurt anyone. However, no matter the intent....hurt is still hurt.
Unpopular insight: If we are more focused on our intent in a situation, and not as much about the impact...we are coming from a very selfish and ego driven place.
When someone is hurt, compassion says we should comfort them. When we have hurt someone, ego typically needs to step back and acknowledge the pain.
We might not want to own the impact of how we have affected someone in a less desireable way. We might use our intentions to defend our actions.
I only ask, does your intent matter to the other person? Will it change the impact it has had? Are you defending yourself, or are you open to the perspective that your intention did not match the impact your choices, words or actions had?
Self Check Impact Vs. Impact
At the end of this episode, I asked you to try something.
Step 1: Think about a time or a situations where your intention of doing something or saying something did not match up with the impact it had. This can involve others but it also might be something you were trying to do for yourself. You had an intention and it did not match up with the outcome. The impact.
Step 2: Write down what your intention was. As best as you can remember
Step 3: Write down what the impact was, as you understand it.
Step 4: Sit with it and look at the difference. Maybe, you can even look how each makes you feel or what feelings come up.
Now switch it up:
Step 5: Think about a time or a situation where someone told you their intention, but it did not match up with the impact it had on you.
Step 6: Write down what the impact that persons actions had on you.
Step 7: Write down what the person said their intention was.
Step 8: How did that make you feel? Did their intention change the impact it had on you? Sit with that.
Sometimes looking at the things we do and bringing ourselves that self-awareness can bring some perspective.
In addition, bringing awareness to how others behave can influence our own self-awareness.
Let me know what you thought of this episode in the comment section below.
Subscribe to The Shek Check Podcast
Subscribe to The Shek Check Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeart Radio and more
REFRAME What does it mean to reframe? I’m sure we have all heard the word reframe in terms of art work or photography. Well guess what. To reframe is not just for art work or photography. We reframe a lot of things that are not using actual frames. re·frame (verb) /rēˈfrām/ To see something…
Attachment Theory Attachment theory is all about the relationships we have and how we feel in them. According to attachment theory, early childhood experiences shape how we feel in relationships and impact us our whole life . How our needs were or were not met is what ultimately forms our attachment style later on in…
Anger and rage Holding anger might seem like a preposterous idea…but does it help us to try to avoid anger and rage? “Anger and rage get a bad rap and reasonably so, because when people act on those emotions- and they’re very, very difficult to have but not act on without repressing them, which is…
How do we notice hate? How do we notice hate? When do we notice hate the most? What does hate look like? What do I consider hateful? What does society consider hateful. Clearly- I’ve been thinking about hate a lot lately. When hate is… When hate is loud. When hate is obvious. When hate is…
Passion is Personal Passion is personal. We are passionate about the things that hit us as individuals. Things that are personal to us in some way. Maybe its passion about another person. A group of people. A piece of music. A piece of art. A sport. A sports team. A franchise of movies. A…
INTENT VERSUS IMPACT What is an intention? An intention is an idea or a thought, that you plan to carry out. It may be a vibe or an energy that you are aiming for. What is impact? It is the action of one object coming forcibly into contact with another object. It can be an…
present moment awareness practice Is it possible to always be in the present moment? I think it is a lovely idea to say, “Yes of course”. However the reality is, it is not always possible be living in the present moment. There will always be things we need to do, or to focus on that…
Challenging Silence How much has silence hurt you? Were you taught that being loud was disruptive? How many times have you been told that silence is the same thing as peace? Does challenging silence scare you? Does it freak you out to be loud? In this episode I talk about the internal and external effects…
Be Selfish To be Selfless How often have you heard that self-care is selfish? How often have you been told that the things that you do to take care of yourself are selfish acts? For how long has the word “selfish” been associated with something shameful? What if we slipped the script? What if we…
BLACK LIVES MATTER In order to say that Black Lives Matter, we have to understand why we need to say it. Why we need to be specific when we say that Black Lives Matter. As a white man, I do not say it enough. As a white man, I do not think about this enough.…