Skip to content

Impact: When Intentions Don’t Matter


What is an intention? An intention is an idea or a thought, that you plan to carry out. It may be a vibe or an energy that you are aiming for.

What is impact? It is the action of one object coming forcibly into contact with another object. It can be an effect of an action on someone or something.

We cannot talk about our intent without talking about impact.

Our intention influence our actions and our choices. The impact of our actions and choices affect the world around us. The question becomes, what matters to you more? The intentions you set, or the impact they have?

When do you focus on claiming your intentions and when do you focus on owning your impact?

Something I focus on in this weeks episode (see above): "Impact: When Intentions Don't Matter"

Good Intentions, Ignored Impact

Maybe you have said it, or maybe you have heard it.

"I'm sorry, that was not my intent" or maybe "Their intentions were good" or maybe "My intentions were pure".

I would like to believe that a good portion of the time, people do have good intentions.

It would be a beautiful thing to believe that people's intent is not to hurt anyone. However, no matter the intent....hurt is still hurt.

"Intention Is not the same as impact.

We need to understand that we can have good intentions

and still have a hurtful impact"


Author of "Skill In Action"

Unpopular insight: If we are more focused on our intent in a situation, and not as much about the impact...we are coming from a very selfish and ego driven place.

When someone is hurt, compassion says we should comfort them. When we have hurt someone, ego typically needs to step back and acknowledge the pain.

We might not want to own the impact of how we have affected someone in a less desireable way. We might use our intentions to defend our actions.

I only ask, does your intent matter to the other person? Will it change the impact it has had? Are you defending yourself, or are you open to the perspective that your intention did not match the impact your choices, words or actions had?

Self Check Impact Vs. Impact

At the end of this episode, I asked you to try something.

Step 1: Think about a time or a situations where your intention of doing something or saying something did not match up with the impact it had. This can involve others but it also might be something you were trying to do for yourself. You had an intention and it did not match up with the outcome. The impact.

Step 2: Write down what your intention was. As best as you can remember

Step 3: Write down what the impact was, as you understand it.

Step 4: Sit with it and look at the difference. Maybe, you can even look how each makes you feel or what feelings come up.

Now switch it up:

Step 5: Think about a time or a situation where someone told you their intention, but it did not match up with the impact it had on you.

Step 6: Write down what the impact that persons actions had on you.

Step 7: Write down what the person said their intention was.

Step 8: How did that make you feel? Did their intention change the impact it had on you? Sit with that.

Sometimes looking at the things we do and bringing ourselves that self-awareness can bring some perspective.

In addition, bringing awareness to how others behave can influence our own self-awareness.

Let me know what you thought of this episode in the comment section below.


Subscribe to The Shek Check Podcast

Subscribe to The Shek Check Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeart Radio and more

Pair this post and episode with:

Impact: When Intentions Don’t Matter

By Erez Shek | 07/17/2020

INTENT VERSUS IMPACT What is an intention? An intention is an idea or a thought, that you plan to carry out. It may be a vibe or an energy that you are aiming for. What is impact? It is the action of one object coming forcibly into contact with another object. It can be an…

Present Moment Awareness

By Erez Shek | 07/11/2020

present moment awareness practice Is it possible to always be in the present moment? I think it is a lovely idea to say, “Yes of course”. However the reality is, it is not always possible be living in the present moment. There will always be things we need to do, or to focus on that…

The Case To Be Loud

By Erez Shek | 07/01/2020

Challenging Silence How much has silence hurt you? Were you taught that being loud was disruptive? How many times have you been told that silence is the same thing as peace? Does challenging silence scare you? Does it freak you out to be loud? In this episode I talk about the internal and external effects…

Selfish 2b Selfless

By Erez Shek | 06/26/2020

Be Selfish To be Selfless How often have you heard that self-care is selfish? How often have you been told that the things that you do to take care of yourself are selfish acts? For how long has the word “selfish” been associated with something shameful? What if we slipped the script? What if we…

Black Lives Matter- Say it

By Erez Shek | 06/25/2020

BLACK LIVES MATTER In order to say that Black Lives Matter, we have to understand why we need to say it. Why we need to be specific when we say that Black Lives Matter. As a white man, I do not say it enough. As a white man, I do not think about this enough.…

Action = Hope

By Erez Shek | 06/21/2020

Is hope passive or action based? What is hope? Well there are many theories and perspectives out there. For instance “Hope Springs Eternal” is a phrase from the Alexander Pope poem An Essay on Man. It references that it is human nature to find fresh cause for optimism.  Now optimism is going to mean different…

Push it real good….or don’t?

By Erez Shek | 06/17/2020

Years ago, the great American Hip Hop duo “Salt N Pepa” broke it down for us with the simple lyric:   “Push it real good”   Listen Salt N Pepa… you to pieces. I really do.  I have to call this idea of “pushing it real good” into question.  The idea that we have to…

“You Will Be Found” Cover

By Erez Shek | 11/06/2019

Join me as a sing 4-parts of “You Will Be Found” from the musical “Dear Evan Hansen”. Thanks to the incredible app Smule, I get to sing, record audio, and record video of some of the greatest music created in this world. Also, getting to sing with people from all around the world, proving that we…

Strife Lies

By Erez Shek | 06/15/2019

Anxiety, our strife, lies to us. It tells us things about ourselves that are not true, undermining our steps forward in life. Just like anyone who lies to me, I call it out. Address it head on.

The Stigma in Healthcare

By Erez Shek | 06/15/2019

Many of us who live with Mental Health Conditions or Mental Illness have learned the hard way that Stigma does not stop when you are dealing with General Doctors, ER Doctors, Nurses, EMT’s and Hospital Staff. In fact the Stigma can often prevents us from getting care for our Physical Health. This video is not…

Leave a Comment

Scroll To Top