INTENT VERSUS IMPACT
What is an intention? An intention is an idea or a thought, that you plan to carry out. It may be a vibe or an energy that you are aiming for.
What is impact? It is the action of one object coming forcibly into contact with another object. It can be an effect of an action on someone or something.
We cannot talk about our intent without talking about impact.
Our intention influence our actions and our choices. The impact of our actions and choices affect the world around us. The question becomes, what matters to you more? The intentions you set, or the impact they have?
When do you focus on claiming your intentions and when do you focus on owning your impact?
Something I focus on in this weeks episode (see above): "Impact: When Intentions Don't Matter"
Good Intentions, Ignored Impact
Maybe you have said it, or maybe you have heard it.
"I'm sorry, that was not my intent" or maybe "Their intentions were good" or maybe "My intentions were pure".
I would like to believe that a good portion of the time, people do have good intentions.
It would be a beautiful thing to believe that people's intent is not to hurt anyone. However, no matter the intent....hurt is still hurt.
Unpopular insight: If we are more focused on our intent in a situation, and not as much about the impact...we are coming from a very selfish and ego driven place.
When someone is hurt, compassion says we should comfort them. When we have hurt someone, ego typically needs to step back and acknowledge the pain.
We might not want to own the impact of how we have affected someone in a less desireable way. We might use our intentions to defend our actions.
I only ask, does your intent matter to the other person? Will it change the impact it has had? Are you defending yourself, or are you open to the perspective that your intention did not match the impact your choices, words or actions had?
Self Check Impact Vs. Impact
At the end of this episode, I asked you to try something.
Step 1: Think about a time or a situations where your intention of doing something or saying something did not match up with the impact it had. This can involve others but it also might be something you were trying to do for yourself. You had an intention and it did not match up with the outcome. The impact.
Step 2: Write down what your intention was. As best as you can remember
Step 3: Write down what the impact was, as you understand it.
Step 4: Sit with it and look at the difference. Maybe, you can even look how each makes you feel or what feelings come up.
Now switch it up:
Step 5: Think about a time or a situation where someone told you their intention, but it did not match up with the impact it had on you.
Step 6: Write down what the impact that persons actions had on you.
Step 7: Write down what the person said their intention was.
Step 8: How did that make you feel? Did their intention change the impact it had on you? Sit with that.
Sometimes looking at the things we do and bringing ourselves that self-awareness can bring some perspective.
In addition, bringing awareness to how others behave can influence our own self-awareness.
Let me know what you thought of this episode in the comment section below.
Subscribe to The Shek Check Podcast
Subscribe to The Shek Check Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeart Radio and more
What is grief? What is grief? What is grief to you? What is grieving? What is grieving to you? When we lose someone or something- we feel grief. It is something I have come to know well but something I only know for myself. I’ve found that any defintion of grief that is out there-…
Obviously, when we are struggling with our anxiety we want to seek relief right? When we are stuck in ruminating patterns- we are desperate to end that pattern and find relief. Relief would mean to stop and end these feeling and these thoughts right? What if that is not always the answer when we are…
Anger The messages we get regarding anger….what if those messages were wrong? What if anger was not the dark cloud and storm that you need to seek cover from? What if anger was not something you needed to manage? What if anger was not something you needed to calm? What if your anger was not…
In an official capacity, the dictionary defines stability as the quality, state, or degree of being stable. Stable being defined as something that has balance, that is firmly established, that is not changing or fluctuating. Where and how that sits with us as individuals and in our own lives might be different. For many of…
Burnout Burnout is defined as a state of emotional, physical, and/or mental exhaustion caused by extended amounts of stress. According to the latest poll from the American Psychological Association, over 80% of adults in the United States are feeling the effects of chronic stress. Why should this matter to you? What does this mean? This…
The Inner Critic The inner critic is what we call that inner voice that judges, criticizes and shames us. The thoughts surrounding actions, interactions, reactions, our choices and our behaviors- that is our inner critic. Yes, at times that inner critic can be harsh- which might seem like an understatement at times. We might hate…
Subscribe to The Shek Check Podcast Check in and check out The Shek Check Podcast wherever you get your favorite podacsts. Click Here The Mother Wound Have you intentionally looked into your mother wound? We are all born of a mother- and so we all have a mother wound. To understand the mother wound, we…
Intuition In Episode 95 of The Shek Check Podcast I sat down to chat with the founder of The Intuitionology Project, Sunil Godse to talk about intuition and cultivating intuition. in·tu·i·tion /ˌint(y)o͞oˈiSH(ə)n/ noun the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning. Sunil Godse: Cultivating Intuition Sunil Godse is a well-known coach…
re·frame (verb) /rēˈfrām/ To see something in a new way, in a new context, with a new frame around it REFRAME In psychology cognitive reframing is a process in which you identify thoughts, situations, events or emotions and challenge the way you view them- in order to create space to change how you view…