Impact: When Intentions Don’t Matter


What is an intention? An intention is an idea or a thought, that you plan to carry out. It may be a vibe or an energy that you are aiming for.

What is impact? It is the action of one object coming forcibly into contact with another object. It can be an effect of an action on someone or something.

We cannot talk about our intent without talking about impact.

Our intention influence our actions and our choices. The impact of our actions and choices affect the world around us. The question becomes, what matters to you more? The intentions you set, or the impact they have?

When do you focus on claiming your intentions and when do you focus on owning your impact?

Something I focus on in this weeks episode (see above): "Impact: When Intentions Don't Matter"

Good Intentions, Ignored Impact

Maybe you have said it, or maybe you have heard it.

"I'm sorry, that was not my intent" or maybe "Their intentions were good" or maybe "My intentions were pure".

I would like to believe that a good portion of the time, people do have good intentions.

It would be a beautiful thing to believe that people's intent is not to hurt anyone. However, no matter the intent....hurt is still hurt.

"Intention Is not the same as impact.

We need to understand that we can have good intentions

and still have a hurtful impact"


Author of "Skill In Action"

Unpopular insight: If we are more focused on our intent in a situation, and not as much about the impact...we are coming from a very selfish and ego driven place.

When someone is hurt, compassion says we should comfort them. When we have hurt someone, ego typically needs to step back and acknowledge the pain.

We might not want to own the impact of how we have affected someone in a less desireable way. We might use our intentions to defend our actions.

I only ask, does your intent matter to the other person? Will it change the impact it has had? Are you defending yourself, or are you open to the perspective that your intention did not match the impact your choices, words or actions had?

Self Check Impact Vs. Impact

At the end of this episode, I asked you to try something.

Step 1: Think about a time or a situations where your intention of doing something or saying something did not match up with the impact it had. This can involve others but it also might be something you were trying to do for yourself. You had an intention and it did not match up with the outcome. The impact.

Step 2: Write down what your intention was. As best as you can remember

Step 3: Write down what the impact was, as you understand it.

Step 4: Sit with it and look at the difference. Maybe, you can even look how each makes you feel or what feelings come up.

Now switch it up:

Step 5: Think about a time or a situation where someone told you their intention, but it did not match up with the impact it had on you.

Step 6: Write down what the impact that persons actions had on you.

Step 7: Write down what the person said their intention was.

Step 8: How did that make you feel? Did their intention change the impact it had on you? Sit with that.

Sometimes looking at the things we do and bringing ourselves that self-awareness can bring some perspective.

In addition, bringing awareness to how others behave can influence our own self-awareness.

Let me know what you thought of this episode in the comment section below.


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